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Player Ratings: Bristol Rovers 2-0 Sunderland - How did the Lads do tonight?

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Here’s how our man watching the match rated the Lads in red and white tonight, as they stumbled to a miserable defeat at the hands of Bristol Rovers in a riveting display of anti-football.

Coventry City v Sunderland - Sky Bet League One Photo by Lewis Storey/Getty Images

Jon McLaughlin: 1/10

Looks like his waking nightmare is defending the goalmouth and having footballs aimed in his general direction. Couldn’t do an awful lot about the first goal but he bottled the penalty like a big girl’s blouse. No pride. No confidence. No fight. Where is Lee Burge? Or your old gran? Anyone with more teeth than that headless chicken.

Tom Flanagan: 5/10

A half-decent performance from the Irishman in the first half. Seems to be in the right place half the time, but not always when it counts. Has a great eye for the pass and good composure but it availed us nothing.

Jordan Willis: 5/10

Seems fairly comfortable in his role but didn’t excel, and we needed him to give 110% to compensate for his woeful partners in defence. He didn’t.

Alim Ozturk: 1/10

Awful start. Had the bejesus scared out of him half a dozen times in the first half hour, then proceeded to watch the ball roll within a foot of him before it was pinged in for Bristol’s first goal. Taking him off for Gooch in the 70th minute was 65 minutes too late.

Denver Hume: 4/10

Poor game for the academy product with little joy found against his Bristol counterpart. Too easy to predict. Cranked it up a bit in the second half but not for long. Totally figured out.

Max Power: 6/10

Eager and competitive, but struggled to start a rhythm in the first half, and can’t be expected to carry the team. As blameless as can be.

Josh Scowen: 5/10

Clear to see the thick skin that his fans praise him for. Willing to commit to challenges and chase down a lost cause, but still struggled to make an impact or become especially involved.

Luke O’nien: 5/10

Combative as ever but seemed tired and needs more weight on the cross. Sloppy on more than one occasion, leading to needless attacks. Clearly needs a stint out of the team. Hard to be too harsh, as it seems to be exhaustion more than ability or desire.

Chris Maguire: 3/10

Wholly anonymous for the entire game. We should call the fuzz and register a missing person because Maguire hasn’t been seen since 7.45pm on Tuesday evening. Our thoughts are with his family during this distressing time.

Antoine Semenyo: 6/10

Started well, looked sharp and eager to impress, even made a dinking little run early on that threatened to cut through Bristol’s defence. Showed a spark when others looked out of sorts. Not as industrious as Gooch on his best day but acquitted himself well, and was one of the few to do so.

Kyle Lafferty: 4/10

Could have done without his needless bickering with the Bristol defence, which forced the change to avoid us going a man down. Bristol and some torrid officiating were the death of him.

(SUB) Charlie Wyke: 3/10

Charlie Wyke innit. He runs sometimes and sometimes when he runs his legs stop working and he falls over. Does a convincing impression of a sack of potatoes.

(SUB) Lynden Gooch: 4/10

Couldn’t make a difference, and didn’t look like it was anywhere near his best day. I expect players of his calibre to make a showing even with little time to do so, but alas.

(SUB) Will Grigg: 1/10

My defence is terrified because Will Grigg is flame-retardant to an almost European standard.

Man of the Match: Antoine Semenyo

For actually giving a fudge.