If you can stomach it... here’s the game in full. Go on, you sickos.
I don’t enjoy bringing this memory back to the forefront of your minds, but sadly today marks the thirteen-year anniversary of that time when a David Moyes side absolutely spanked Sunderland all over the park - running out 7-1 winners at Goodison Park.
I remember the day well. We drove down - a break from the usual coach journey - hoping to see Sunderland capitalise on a decent draw two weeks before against Newcastle. The international break had afforded Keane some time to reflect on his side’s start to the campaign, and we headed to Merseyside hoping to kick on.
It was our first season back in the top flight after promotion, and a decent-ish start to the season had seen us sit just above the relegation places - though we weren’t winning many games, and hadn’t picked up three points since a home victory over Reading in mid-September.
There was definitely a buzz around the supporters in the away end that day, and in the pubs in the hours before kick off, but that energy soon dissipated once the game got underway.
Paul McShane. I’m still having nightmares about his performance. He must have been at fault for five of the goals - our summer signing from West Bromwich Albion had done little until that point to convince fans he was a worthy acquisition, and that performance at Goodison probably stands as his Sunderland legacy.
Despite enjoying a relatively decent career since his time with SAFC, mackem fans just cannot shake that feeling of dread whenever his name is mentioned.
The first goal was, of course, McShane’s fault - the defender flying out of position to try and clear a long kick from the goalkeeper, missing the ball which let Yakubu run through on goal. The Nigeria international striker capitalised, with his strike deflecting off Danny Higginbotham and over Craig Gordon into the Sunderland net.
The second followed soon after - some neat play down the right between Mikael Arteta and Phil Neville saw a cross floated in to Tim Cahill, who took advantage of McShane’s ball-watching and Sunderland’s collective crap defending to smash it home.
More good interplay split Sunderland open for Everton’s third, a fabulous finish from Steven Pienaar, who found himself unmarked after a one-two with Nuno Valente dragged McShane and Nosworthy helplessly out of position.
We did get one back just before half time through Dwight Yorke - it was actually a really nice finish into the top corner, but it has perhaps been forgotten... understandable given the end result. My one abiding memory of that goal is that some knacker in front of me had loudly spent the entire half calling Yorke worse than shite, arguing with other fans - the hundreds of Lads fans around him in the stand took great delight rubbing it back in his face when he sheepishly refused to celebrate the goal.
Despite giving ourselves a lifeline, things only got worse in the second period.
Sunderland were undone by another long goal kick, with McShane again making a costly error leading to the fourth goal. His slip allowed Tim Cahill to control the ball expertly before finishing past Gordon, putting the end result beyond doubt with just under half an hour left to play.
Sunderland, visibly shaken by the goal, fell to pieces.
Everton’s short corner caused a pinball situation inside the box, with Yakubu the eventual beneficiary - he stabbed home from close range to get his second of the match.
The sixth goal came from ANOTHER long ball, and another pathetic effort from McShane. Andy Johnson waltzed in behind the defender to collect the big punt forward, rounding Gordon to get his first after being introduced just minutes prior from the bench.
Then, with five minutes to go, Leon Osman rounded the scoring off, with more embarrassing Sunderland defending. The midfielder jogged from his own half with the ball, running through under no pressure and riding a series of tame tackles before sticking it in the bottom corner. Game over, job done - I was already back to my car at this point.
It was easily one of the worst Sunderland performances in my time as a supporter - one that landed us in the bottom three, and one that we’ll likely never forget for all the wrong reasons. Well, I’m off to down a bottle of Jack Daniels... it may or may not help remove the painful memory of Paul McShane’s defending that is etched on my brain.
Sunderland manager Roy Keane:
You have to learn quickly in the Premier League and Everton took great advantage of our shortcomings. Everton have got three or four really outstanding players. It is a major setback to get a real beating like that but I trust the players to learn from it and I have to learn from it myself.
It’s hard to take, but we lose as a team and I picked the team and sorted the tactics so I have no problem taking responsibility for what happened.
Everton manager David Moyes:
That was probably the best performance in my time here. Some of our football was fantastic and our passing and movement was just outstanding.
It is how I have been hoping to get an Everton team playing and I hope we see Everton playing that was more often - hopefully it’s the first of many.
Mikel Arteta’s first 45 minutes was nothing short of magical. The things he did on the ball and the opportunities he created for us were just something else.
Everton: Howard, Neville, Yobo (Jagielka 81), Lescott, Nuno Valente, Arteta, Carsley, Osman, Pienaar, Cahill (Anichebe 74), Yakubu (Johnson 74). Subs Not Used: Wessels, Gravesen.
Sunderland: Gordon, Whitehead, McShane, Higginbotham, Harte, Edwards, Etuhu (Wallace 46), Yorke (Collins 46), Leadbitter, Chopra (Cole 67), Jones. Subs Not Used: Ward, O’Donovan.