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Cans & Megabus Away Guide: MK Dons - “Made-up team from a made-up town”

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Come on everybody, let’s go to the weirdest town in the UK! Here’s everything you need to know about Sunderland’s trip to ‘Milton Keynes’.

Milton Keynes Dons v Chelsea - The Emirates FA Cup Fourth Round Photo by Pete Norton/Getty Images

Who Are These Jobbers?

Made-up team from a made-up town.

MK Dons Unveil Robbie Neilson As New Manager Photo by Pete Norton/Getty Images

What’s The Ground Like?

You know who needs a 30,500-seater stadium? A made-up football team in a made-up town. Fun fact for you, had England won the right to host the 2018 World Cup, Stadium:mk would have been extended to 55,000. So, yeah, that would’ve been nice.

A team flitting about the lower divisions playing in a cavernous stadium, who do they think they are? Sunderland?

Anyway, despite its behemoth size and being nowhere near anything, it’s quite a pleasant stadium akin to the hobbikit affairs we were accustomed to in the Premier League and Championship. We’ll be housed in the North East Corner to take in all the franchise glory.

England U21 v Austria U21 - UEFA Under 21 Championship Qualifier Photo by Marc Atkins/Getty Images

How Do I Get There?

How ironic that the made-up team from the made-up town play in a stadium that isn’t even situated in the made-up town it’s meant to. For the uninformed, Stadium MK is located in the leafy Buckinghamshire suburb of Bletchley, neatly sandwich between an ASDA and an IKEA.

For those of you driving down, take the A1(M) and M1 down to junction 15 before exiting for the A508 towards Milton Keynes. Hit the A5 until you reach the roundabout near Primark and the ground is a short walk away. There’s a load of parking around the ground for £7 a car, while there’s less expensive spots available around the retail park.

If you get lost plop MK1 1ST into your sat nav.

What you really want when travelling by public transport to a football match is a football ground nowhere near anything. Milton Keynes railway station is a handy four miles away so, unless you want to fork out for a taxi, take a connecting train to Bletchley railway station which is only two miles from the ground.


Where Can I Get The Sesh Started?

Imagine the largest Frankie & Benny’s you can. Imagine Frankie & Benny’s was a whole town, just rivers of flat pints of Coors, and that’s what Milton Keynes is. The only pubs in the vicinity of the ground don’t admit away supporters. So that’s good.

In Milton Keynes itself, you’ll find a Wetherspoons on Bouverie Square which resembles a car showroom while All Bar One and Be At One are within a short stroll. The smartest people in the room, of course, will take the train to Bletchley and head to the quiet surroundings of Fenny Stratford.

Here, you’ll find a selection of pubs along Watling Street including The Chequers, a homely real ale pub, and The Swan Hotel. A stone’s throw from Fenny Stratford is The Red Lion on Lock View Lane which has a lovely beer garden and a git load of beers on draft while The Bull and Butcher on Aylesbury Street is another fine option. As a kicker, the ground is about a 15-minute walk from these beautiful establishments.

The Red Lion in Fenny Stratford

Is There Owt To Do Around Here?

Milton Keynes may well be like visiting an enormous retail park, and away from the rock climbing and indoor skiing there is, of course, The National Museum of Computing. That’s right everybody, get on board as you gleefully skip down to Bletchley Park and see the world’s largest collection of functional historic computers.

All the stars are here including Colossus, the world’s first electronic computer, The Turing Welchman Bombe, and if you’re really lucky, you may even see Windows Vista in action. Alternatively, you can visit Bletchley Park to see where the World War II codebreakers brought down those pesky Nazis.

Bletchley Park