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Guess who’s back...

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The egotistical, selfish, arrogant, publicity-seeking, media-baiting, delusional, self-centered, vain, conceited, disdainful, contemptuous, overbearing, disrespectful, swollen-headed, tactless, hypocritical, self-righteous not-so-Special One is back - and we love it.

Tottenham Hotspur Training Session
I don’t understand how they get their initials sewn onto their tops so quickly
Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images

José is back - and I think it’s fantastic.

But then I’m not a Spurs supporter, who’re less than thrilled at the prospect of a new manager coming in who thinks he’s bigger than the club.

Spurs plucked Pochettino from Southampton, gave him a chance in the big time assumed that he was grateful and loyal and a symbiotic relationship developed between the manager and the fans which carried them on a journey up the league, into Europe, through the Wembley experience, into their new state-of-the-art stadium and a Champions League final.

Tottenham Hotspur v Sheffield United - Premier League
What - that door over there?
Photo by Matthew Lewis/Getty Images

But they didn’t win anything. At all.

Whilst Champions league qualifying, competing with the best and a great style of football is enough for most fans, they still didn’t win anything. There were comments slipping out in interviews that ‘silverwear’ was the aim, and it wasn’t looking likely to happen any time soon, unless they put the cutlery from the new restaurant on display in the trophy cabinet.

Since the Champions League Final Spurs have been playing like a team smitten with agoraphobia, with want-away-players stuck at the club, rumours of marital infidelities splitting the team, key players underperforming - something had to change.

It was obvious to many that Pochettino would be shown the door marked ‘Here’s £12.5 million... now go away please’.

Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League
You’re my best friend - I love you....
Photo by Matthew Peters/Manchester United via Getty Images

For me the big problem with Pochettino, apart from the fact that he never really learnt to speak English, was that he was so boring!

He made Claude Puel look like Charlie Sheen on amphetamines.

Tactically he’s astute, he manages on a budget, brings on the younger players and inspires the senior players that play for him - but he’s got the personality of an amoeba.

If you look at the top four teams at the moment each of their managers is very different, but they all have one thing in common - they all have a pulse and you’d start up a conversation with any one of them if they were a stranger at a bus stop.

So is José the answer for Spurs? Probably not, he’s the opposite of everything they currently stand for. He’s got a history of cautious, prudent football, alienating players who he doesn’t like and wanting big money in the transfer windows, so it really could all end in tears.

But... he’s fun.

When it comes to personality and profile he’s the Death Star – and he wins things.

Tottenham Hotspur v Sheffield United - Premier League
They’ll need to I think....
Photo by Matthew Lewis/Getty Images

Even at the assisted suicide clinic for managers that is Manchester United he won two trophies and got them to second in the table so Daniel Levy – footballs answer to Mr Burns - has set out his stall. He wants to win things, whatever it takes, and for the neutral the journey is going to be very interesting.

For the fans, maybe not so much... but it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

Harry Redknapp made it known that he was available and interested. One to think about in three months time when Harry Kane’s just put in a transfer request, Son Heung-min has demanded to complete his national service and post-match press-conferences are staffed by the International Red Cross.

Pochettino to Arsenal, anyone?

Meanwhile, events of the past few weeks have convinced me of one thing – there’ll never be a satisfactory conclusion to either Brexit or VAR in my lifetime.

Whilst Brexit is locked into a mindless interminable cycle of pain and suffering, the powers that be are at least trying to fix VAR - not least by FIFA appointing Arsene Wenger as chief of global football development... which means he sits on the board that governs the laws of the game and any rule changes such as the introduction of VAR.

This from a man who managed Arsenal for 22 years and never saw them commit a foul.

I’m not holding my breath.

Arsene Wenger Press Conference-2010 FIFA World Cup
Say what you like but he takes a good photo.
Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images for Castrol

Elsewhere we’ve just had the international break and apart from some handbags involving Raheem Sterling and Joe Gomez, there wasn’t much to see from an England perspective.

No disrespect to Montenegro or Kosovo, but I can’t really get excited about it. The only positive is that we’re now breaking down teams that put eleven players behind the ball and scoring the goals that our perceived status expects, but it doesn’t count for anything when we come up against a decent side, which we won’t do now until next summer.

And joining us will be Wales, who’ve qualified for their second major tournament in a row amidst much rancour from Spain over the behaviour of Gareth Bale, who was photographed with a Welsh flag printed with ‘Wales – Golf – Madrid’, commonly thought to be the order of his priorities and which haven’t been denied by the man himself.

“I definitely have more excitement playing for Wales” said Bale, who hasn’t played a game for Real Madrid since the beginning of October – so it’s more exciting than doing nothing.

“It’s like playing with your mates down the park on a Sunday” - and anyone who’s seen Wales play recently can testify that he’s absolutely spot on.

Thank goodness we’re back to a normal football weekend this week.

As we left it, Liverpool had just increased their lead at the top with a 3-1 win over Manchester City. ‘We were the better team’ said Rodri (of New York, Paris and Peckham fame) - well, that’s not what the result says bonny lad; and Watford got their first win of the season condemning Norwich to the foot of the table. Life can be Krul.