1. Paul Slaney is a gift from the Gods

Whilst many of the world are waking up to the fact that former Celtic midfielder Paul Slane is the funniest man in the world, I’m privileged to say I’ve been aware of this nut case for months. Not only is Open Goal a fabulous podcast, but Simon ‘Ferray’ has found a gem in his mate Slaney. Just a quick google search of his name will give you hours of endless fun.

Hw outdone himself this week though.

If Irn Bru don’t make this their official advert this Christmas, they’ve missed a trick.

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2. Kevin Kyle’s hoverboard

Another top man is our former striker big Kev Kyle.

He’s strong as an ox, built with Buckfast girders and a properly sound bloke.

Not the best with hoverboards, though.

Don’t worry, the wee man was unharmed, with the little trooper getting back on the board where he “showed his Dad how to do it”. True character, just like his old man.

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3. San Marino score!

Sometimes I watch San Marino and see huge parallels to Sunderland. We’re both absolutely crap, and have been for years, and have very little to shout about.

So, in honour of San Marino I pledge to celebrate EXACTLY like this next time we get a consolation at *looks up fixtures list* Fleetwood.

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4. Maradona does Wolf of Wall Street

No, it’s not what you’re thinking.

But good old Maradona had a “I’m not f***ing leaving” Wolf of Wall Street moment this week when he returned to manage Gimnasia FC two days after he said he was leaving.

Say what you want about crazy Diego, but this guy is a diamond that should be cherished.

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5. Liam Palmer - what a lovely wee lad

Well played Mr Palmer!

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6. Wales. Golf. Madrid. Bale.

So some people didn’t find it funny. But some people don’t find anything funny. Top level shithousery from Gareth (also what the hell is Jonny Williams up to?).

I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he gets back to Spain.

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7. Women’s football weekend

Whilst, annoyingly, Sunderland Ladies game against Derby County Ladies was called off, last week was a huge success for Women’s Football Weekend, with records broken right left and centre. Tottenham Hotspur Women’s attendance of 38,262 is a new FAWSL record, whilst every other top tier game had well over a thousand in attendance.

Brilliant work.

Photo by Ian Horrocks/Sunderland AFC via Getty Images