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Our ten-year tenure in the top flight has drawn to a close, and whether or not our surmounting of the Championship will be achievable at the first time of asking is anyone's guess. With our future ambiguous, I'd like to draw our attention to something that I'm sure you'll agree is beyond any shadow of doubt. Whilst it was a rocky road at the best of times, we've gained some great memories from our decade long residence amongst England's finest.
Despite our Premier League longevity consisting of more losses than wins, we won't struggle to look back over our shoulders at the seasons of yesteryear and remember the good times.
There's a fork in the road on this lighter side of Sunderland's memory lane - instead of taking you through our best wins, we're going to be remembering the most absurd.
What qualifies as absurd? Well, pretty much any game in which the lads fluked their way to three points, or a series of unorthodox events transpired around them. Lets get to it!
Sunderland 5 - 2 Wolverhampton Wanderers (27th September 2009)
Under normal circumstances, a Premier League fixture that accumulated upwards of five goals would be one in which Sunderland are found on the business end of a humiliating defeat. But not in this case.
Sunderland went into the half-time interval with a goal advantage thanks to Darren Bent's conversion from the penalty spot. Cue the restart, and it all just got a bit messy.
Kenwyne Jones doubled the lads' lead early into the second-half, only for John Mensah to concede an own goal as Craig Gordon palmed the ball onto him; the big defender subsequently chesting the ball into his own net.
Kevin Doyle would then nab the away side's equalizer five minutes later. An awful Kieran Richardson back-pass left Gordon no choice but to palm the ball away, awarding the away side an indirect free-kick. Whilst the initial shot hit the wall, the Irishman was able to pounce on the rebound.
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A further two Sunderland goals from Jones and Michael Turner - followed by an own goal from the visitors - ensured that a victory wasn't squandered, but ultimately the scoreline betrayed how awkwardly we kept our clutch on those three points.
Sunderland 1 - 0 Manchester City (1st January 2012)
That's Sessegnon... to Jiii! He's around the goalkeeper! He's done it!
We've given City a fair few one-nil nailings over the years, but how many can compare to the one when Ji got the winner?
You know, come to think of it, that's the only significant contribution I can recall Ji making? Christ, how low are our standards for branding someone a cult hero?
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He stumbled into an offside position and almost fell over himself before taking the shot for what would be his should-be disallowed goal. Is that all you need to do to win the hearts and minds of our sensationalist contingent?
Suppose our potentiality to ironically venerate footballers was made clear enough after Milton Nunez.
Sunderland 3 - 0 Newcastle (25th October 2015)
Aye, the mags. I hate them, you hate them, we all hate them. But you can hardly blame them when they say they were robbed on this occasion.
It's deeply satisfying to have to clarify which comprehensive 3-0 victory over our rivals I'm talking about here - but given the nature of this list, it could obviously only be the one under Big Sam.
I think I speak for the entirety of our fanbase when I say I was bricking it in the first half. The barcodes were all over us; and the prospect of six-in-a-row looked bleak.
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But then, in the dying seconds of the first half, Fabricio Coloccini nudges over Steven Fletcher inside the box. The Newcastle captain conceding not only a penalty, but a rather controversial red card.
With the penalty converted, Sunderland went into the break with a goal advantage against the run of play. Our dear friends up the road thoroughly disheartened, even moreso when Billy Jones and Steven Fletcher doubled and then tripled our lead respectively.
"If ever a scoreline didn't tell a story" tweeted Gary Lineker. I couldn't care less personally - at least I don't support a team that's conceded to Billy Jones.
Crystal Palace 0 - 4 Sunderland (4th February 2017)
I mean, okay, there was nothing inherently absurd about the performance itself. It's more about the context in which we won it.
Last season was a nightmare. Dour, dreary Dave will go down in history as one of the most uninspiring managers to ever plant his arse in the Wearside hotseat.
We were abysmal, unrelentingly so, for virtually the entire season - so where the hell did a 0-4 rout come from!?
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It's hilarious how we can whip out a result like this after an eight game winless run and follow it up with a run of seven games goalless. Or maybe it isn't hilarious at all, and last season just drove me to the point of insanity where I can no longer tell the funny from the unfunny.
Sunderland 1 - 0 Liverpool (17th October 2009)
Beach ball.
That is all.
Poll
Which of these wins did you think was the most ridiculous?
This poll is closed
-
1%
Sunderland 5 - 2 Wolves
-
16%
Sunderland 1 - 0 Man City
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9%
Sunderland 3 - 0 Newcastle
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21%
Crystal Palace 0 - 4 Sunderland
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50%
Sunderland feat. Beach Ball 1 - 0 Liverpool