Jordan Pickford - 7
As per, the youngest lad in the side seems to be one of the only ones that actually cares. Made a handful of decent saves to keep the score at three but, as always, was let down by the absolute shower in front of him.
Billy Jones - 6
Tactical genius David Moyes continued to deploy the move of ping-every-ball-at-Billy-Jones despite him absolutely bottling the one important chance he got at home to Burnley. Struggled with Luke Shaw all afternoon and got easily bullied by Zlatan Ibrahimovic for the opening goal.
Lamine Kone - 4
If I could show you a video reel of a player that simply doesn't want to be here anymore I'd show you Lamine Kone's performance today. Failed to help out Jones to close down Ibrahimovic for the opener, hardly bothered to challenge for Henrikh Mkhitaryan and fa...actually forget it, just do one.
Jason Denayer - 5
Markedly better than his centre back partner but was torn apart for United's third and is probably dreaming of playing Under-23 games at Manchester City next year.
Bryan Oviedo - 7
Only member of the defence that seemed to put a foot in and managed to limit the amount of United's attacks down the right hand side. Forced off in the first half with what looked like a hamstring injury, obviously.
Didier Ndong - 6
Attempted to get us going on numerous occasions but either a lack of communication or poor judgement led to a number of moves breaking down. A solid-ish performance.
Lee Cattermole - 6
Still way off the pace but at least the lad looks like he actually gives a toss. Played a delicious ball over the top for Defoe and was neat and tidy in spells but was essentially shafted once Larsson was dismissed.
Jack Rodwell - 5
I honestly can't remember him being on the pitch which kind of sums up his entire Sunderland career.
Sebastian Larsson - 3
Here's a detailed account for Sebastian Bengt Ulf Larsson's 43 minutes of work today - overhit numerous corners, shouted at the ref a lot, pointed a bit, ran about, lunged into a challenge and got sent off. Cheers for coming, Seb. Still, his weird Swedish fan club in the West Stand must've loved it.
Victor Anichebe - 4
Out-jumped by Matteo Darmian in the opening exchanges and set about strolling about the pitch failing to get engaged in anything that resembled a game of football. Missed our best chance when he should've scored.
Jermain Defoe - 3
Granted he has scored literally all of our goals but Defoe is not immune from criticism. Remember that he also hasn't scored for seven games and stropped around the pitch like a man wondering whether he'll go to Bournemouth or West Ham next year. Missed a simple tap-in from three yards and seemed to have no impetus to get into dangerous positions when we went forward. Little to no link-up with Anichebe and generally pretty garbage.
Javier Manquillo (for Bryan Oviedo) - 6
Did alright, I guess. I wasn't really paying attention to him.
Fabio Borini (for Lee Cattermole) - 5
It speaks volumes about the level of apathy I currently have about this football team that I can't even get annoyed by Fabio Borini playing.