What you are about to read was initially intended to be a comment that I wanted to post on this article that Roker Report published this morning regarding the future of David Moyes and Ellis Short, but as I descended in to full on rant-mode I thought it would maybe be better if I put it up as its own piece. So apologies - please don't expect Caulkin-level prose here. I'm merely a disgruntled, disenfranchised Sunderland supporter with some things to get off his chest.
Something caught my eye yesterday which filled me with dread.
I don't know why, but when I saw the original story about our manager's future published by the Telegraph filter through last night it made me feel massively disappointed. I wasn't surprised by the 'news' that David Moyes is set to keep his job - because quite frankly we've known since day one that he was never going to lose it at any point this year - but having it spelled out to you when you feel so strongly against it is disheartening.
I have stuck by David Moyes for a large chunk of this season, particularly during our initial ten-game winless run at the start of the campaign, but as time has drawn on I've found myself asking questions constantly of the club, their motives and what their actual plan is going forward.
Ultimately, Sunderland's recent demise has been largely down to the decisions made by various non-footballing people that aren't capable of making rational choices, something which has impacted us financially and has ultimately led us to this point. Bain is here to oversee a fairly daunting task - to get this club back on its feet by seeing out a number of long-term measures that have been put in place in order to eliminate errors caused by rash, short term choices made in the past - and he's not particularly bothered who gets hurt in the process. He's ruthless, almost like a hired hit-man that will do anything in order to successfully see out the task given to him by the man paying his wages.
Constant managerial changes, a revolving door transfer policy and indecisiveness have caused us to reach the end of the road after ten seasons in the Premier League, and many of you will probably agree that it would be foolish to think that Sunderland can survive again once more this season. As far as this campaign is concerned, we're finished - and whilst the club hierarchy won't necessarily admit it, they've known and accepted this since David Moyes was brought here as manager.
I firmly believe that he was given the job on the proviso that relegation would keep him safe in his role, as the job at hand here is far greater than just playing out one season in the Premier League, and that is why we find ourselves where we are at now.
We're merely making up the numbers until we reach the day that our drop in to the Championship has been confirmed, by which point the club can begin to move on players that are earning huge sums of money on lucrative contracts, along with the hasbeens that have been brought in on short term deals in order to plug the gaps. It's almost as though they've said to themselves, "lets see this season out, get to the summer and then kick-start our REAL plan when we have the opportunity to do so."
There's no doubting that there is a rebuild on the horizon. I'm fully convinced that David Moyes is not the man to do it, but whether I think that or not is irrelevant because Martin Bain knows what and who he wants, and that man is David Moyes. Changing things now makes no sense, although getting rid of the manager would at least present us with an opportunity to reinvigorate the squad that we do have in order to see if they have what it takes to survive once more. But at this stage it seems a little risky and quite frankly pointless, because the right time to do it was probably in January, when we at least had a chance to make positive changes that could help us to stay in the Premier League.
The nature of this entire dismal campaign has sucked the life and passion from within me. I love Sunderland dearly and always will but when faced with the prospect of watching a team managed by David Moyes in the Championship, I shudder. I can only foresee a continuation of the mistakes and poor choices that he has made on a weekly basis, albeit in a lower league where expectations for Moyes and his players to succeed will be even greater.
And in just over nine days I have a massive decision to make. For the first time since becoming a season ticket holder over 20 years ago, do I end my financial commitment to the club and cancel my season ticket renewal, or do I let it roll over knowing fine well I'm going to skint myself again in order to show my loyalty to my club? Am I prepared to go on this journey ahead, knowing that I don't agree with the plan to stick by the manager that is in charge?
I probably will, because I always have done.
That said, I'll admit that I'm wrestling constantly with my own feelings on this subject. I quite honestly don't know what is best for me, or my club, any more.