The Roker Report Fantasy League: Gameweek #24 - Get Gabriel Jesus in your squad!

Who Are The Leaders & High Scorers?

Despite batting below the weekly average, Jonathan Glover couldn’t be shifted from 1st place. It was a fairly underwhelming week for Shane Warnes Flipper with Chelsea men Marcos Alonso & Diego Costa being the joint highest scorers with 8 points, while captain Christian Eriksen only mustered 6. There’s only three points in it though, after an impressive week for Richard Mason’s Falafelz moved them up to 2nd. Handing the armband to the four goal fury of Romelu Lukaku, was the main factor in his 92 point haul.

Unbelievably, that wasn’t enough for Richard to earn the highest scorer accolade. Pipping him by just 5 points were Partywallas, managed by Kyan Pardiwalla, another team with Lukaku as captain. Goals from Eden Hazard, Zlatan Ibrahimovic & Marcos Alonso gave further boosts, as did clean sheets for Chris Brunt and Kyle Walker. It also brought Kyan’s charges into the top 20, as they now reside in 12th.

Who Is Down The Bottom?

This week was so high scoring that there’s no one you can really pick on for scoring really badly. Which is a shame, because I like singling people out for scoring really badly. Conveniently though, this weeks last placed team is also our lowest scorer. That’s right All You Need Is Love, don’t try hiding there at the back, starring at your shoes, thinking I won’t notice. To be honest, I don’t think Kier Bradwell is paying attention to me anyway, since he still has crocked players such as Yannick Bolasie in his team but he deserves the humiliation regardless.

How Are The Roker Report Team Getting On?

The ever reliable Jim Holmes had a bit of a poor one this week. Giroud - Sandstorm fell to 14th, scoring just four points above the weekly average of 51. That would usually be a decent score but with only two goals in the team (Zlatan & Hazard) and two clean sheets (West Brom’s Foster & McAuley), it was always going to make things tough at the business end of the league. It was a stronger showing from Dan Parker though, his 50 Shades Of O’Shea boys moved up to 29th and could we be about to see a change at the top in the RR writers mini league? If Defoe keeps grabbing braces, Hazard keeps scoring such superb goals and Antonio Valencia creates goals while keeping clean sheets, you never know.

Perhaps it’ll be Micky Lough who gets ahead of Jim though? After scoring 82 points, he’s up to 36th, as captain Romelu Lukaku scored more than half of his total. Ross Barkley brought in 12 and Toby Alderweireld earned 9, meaning low scores from the likes of Cahill, Matic & Drinkwater didn’t really matter. You’d think FlyOnTheWingsOfLove would be the highest scoring RR team this week, wouldn’t you?

Well you’d be wrong to think that because I took that crown this week because I’m great. 87 points for Champagne Papy Bodji took me up to 154th, as a bit of a gamble paid off. I played my wildcard, in a bid to add another quality striker so welcome along - Gabriel Jesus! Both him and Defoe bagged doubles in my attack, while Diego Costa grabbed an assist. Captain Eden Hazard found the net, as did Alonso, Gareth McAuley didn’t concede and Heung-Min Son claimed an assist. I am mint.

Out of Tom Atkinson’s 60 point total, 43 of those points were scored by Lukaku & Hazard alone. It could have been so much better if Sunlun made Lukaku captain, rather than his international colleague and it may have prevented them from falling to 185th. Tom won’t be as gutted as Karl Maguire though, even though Steel Panthers moved up the table. Defoe, Lukaku and Ibrahimovic were all scoring goals up front but Karl chose Alexis Sanchez as his captain, whose points only doubled to 4. Awful scenes but at least Karl progressed, moving up to 194th.

I remember a time when we used to mock Gav for being so bad but now he’s in a, somewhat respectable, 233rd. Ice Cream Kone are within touching distance of the top 200 and that just doesn’t seem right. Three front men scoring a combined 7 goals will always make for a good week, it’s just a shame Gav went for one goal man Harry Kane as captain, rather than Defoe or Lukaku. Simon Fenton didn’t make such a mistake though, with Jermain Defoe’s brace putting him just three places below Gav. A goal and a clean sheet from Lamine Kone meant it was Sunderland players who were the stars for Team Simon and he even had the cheeky pre-goal celebrator Ross Barkley getting involved.

Things aren’t look so good for James Henchard’s Blackened Roar Mass however, after scoring only 45 points in this high scoring week. It plunged James down to 270th and the times where he was one of the best managers out of us writers seems a distant memory. The brace from Defoe restored some pride but some of those points were cancelled out by Patrick van Aanholt’s score of zilch. Still, I’m sure The Lads 4-0 win is nice way to see you fantasy team fail. The last placed team, Carl Purvis’ Crystal Phallus, are only 9 places behind The Mass and would have been even closer to them, had Carl not left Lamine Kone on the bench. It was still a decent week with Defoe, Costa and Alonso in the team but Carl will be kicking himself for such an error of judgement.

Who Should I Pick For Next Week's Games?

As previously mentioned, I played my wildcard last week so I could draft in Gabriel Jesus and I’d encourage you all to do the same. After two goals this past weekend, he’ll continue to keep Sergio Aguero out of the Manchester City side so if you have the Argentinian in your team, it may be time to cash in. Not only will that give you the money to buy Jesus, but it’ll give you dosh to strengthen your team elsewhere. With City travelling to an out of form Bournemouth on Monday night, the timing is perfect as well.

Another team looking down in the dumps are Leicester City, who face a Swansea side that have been much improved since the arrival of Paul Clement. The Foxes are yet to find the net in the league this year, so if you need to improve your defence and you’re on a budget, look to The Swans. Alfie Mawson has been the highest scoring defender for Swansea this season and he’s available for £4.5m, while Kyle Naughton can be picked up for slightly less at £4.3m.

If you have some funds burning a hole in your pocket and want a big name midfielder, it’s a good weekend to draft in Tottenham players. Liverpool don’t look like turning their form around any time soon and even if they do get a result against Spurs, you’d still expect them to concede goals. Dele Alli and Christian Eriksen can be bought for £8.9m and £8.8m, respectively, while Heung-Min Son is a bargain at £6.8m.