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Roker Ramble: Dyche For England?

The slim list of potential candidates for the England job gives us little encouragement for the future, but in Burnley manager Sean Dyche there is a man who deserves his chance at a top job.

Jan Kruger/Getty Images

England's display last night against Iceland in Nice was perhaps the most abject performance from our national team in my lifetime.

I spoke yesterday on this site about England's need to get ruthless against their opponents if they were to succeed, and I guess that nobody took heed of my advice as we witnessed what can only be described as a complete f**king mess.

And we all seen it coming, didn't we? When the England manager is trying out new systems in the penultimate friendly before you head off to a tournament it should set alarm bells ringing, and the culmination of that embarrassment was shown yesterday evening as England found themselves without a plan B against a team that they, in all respect, should be walking over with relative ease.

The only thing more staggering than the way England performed against Iceland was the fact that Roy Hodgson had a pre-prepared resignation speech written so that he could wash his hands of the disaster he had created almost immediately after the final whistle. Hodgson joins a list of losers that includes Steve McClaren, Sven Goran-Eriksson and Graham Taylor - all abject failures in a position of power that any half decent manager would have achieved relative success in.

Looking to the future the FA have an absolutely momentous decision to make. At their disposal they have perhaps one of the most talent groups of English footballers in a number of years that have the potential to grow together over the course of the next decade or so, but as shown at the European Championships they really lack any semblance of leadership on and off the pitch.

And we say this time and time again, but getting the appointment of the new England manager absolutely spot on is of paramount importance. Employing yes men who couldn't inspire a kettle to boil just doesn't cut it any longer, and in tournament football having someone that can motivate a group of players that lack motivation within themselves is absolutely vital.

Looking down the list of potential candidates for the job is enough to put you off your breakfast. The current favourites for the job are Gareth Southgate, Alan Shearer and Alan Pardew. Desperate.

None of those men should be anywhere near such an important job as far as I am concerned.

Southgate is already in the England system and has seen success this summer in Toulon with our U21s side but he was a failure in his short stint as Middlesbrough manager and despite being an experienced England international, I'm not sure his credentials match up. He might make a decent number two. Shearer.... well, that option isn't even worth exploring. He's done nothing in coaching or management and I can't see him leaving his comfy BBC sofa for the dugout at Wembley. Pardew - laughable.

England need someone that is a renowned disciplinarian that can get a tune out of players that need to be kicked up the arse from time to time whilst also organising his team defensively and having a system and pattern of play that is very clear, yet is incredibly tough to play against. When I watched Antonio Conte kicking and screaming every time a pass was played last night in the Italy game I couldn't help but wish he was English, because that type of character is just what we need. Sadly, time shows us that the FA don't employ people like that.

One man who, despite never holding a top job, fits the bill for me is Burnley manager Sean Dyche. How he'd cope with high profile players remains to be seen but he definitely wouldn't have allowed England to be as under-prepared as they were going into this tournament, and he certainly wouldn't have allowed so many of England's big names to sleepwalk into the starting eleven despite not actually deserving to be there. He appears to be a proud person, and someone that has pride in his country wouldn't have allowed England to be as underwhelming as they have been under Hodgson's tenure.

Dyche for England? Absolutely no chance. The FA wouldn't dare take a gamble on a young coach that has a proven record of being able to organise average players and motivate them to win games. It'll be Southgate, and in four years time I'll be sat here again writing about how underwhelming England are because that is the plan that the English FA have stuck to for decades.

But still, it's good to speculate.

And, in truth, I'm crossing every finger and toe in the hope that they don't go anywhere near Sam Allardyce, because he'd be absolutely perfect and we all know he'd jump at the chance to manage his country.


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