clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Player Of The Last Ten Years Poll, Round Two: Seb Larsson Vs Julio Arca

Two astonishingly good fellows meet, but there's no room for two nice guys as one must leave. The sexy Swede or the adorable Argentine? You decide!

Mike Hewitt

Seb Larsson

Seb Larsson is an astonishingly handsome man. With his baby-blue eyes and boy-next-door, innocent appearance, he resembles a young Leonardo DiCaprio, in the days before the US actor was kidnapped by Martin Scorsese, locked in a cellar and beaten every day until he achieved the rougher, world-weary looks we know him for today. In fact it might well just be the case that Sebastian Larsson is the most attractive man to don the red and white stripes of Sunderland.

Some of you may have just spat out your cereal in disgust, shouting 'But what about Lorik Cana!' at your computer screens. Lorik Cana was certainly an Adonis. He was handsome in a different way to Larsson; more rugged and beastly. However, the real difference here is in the eyes. Look into Cana's eyes and you'll see a cold, piercing stare;the look of a man who had to flee a war-torn country at a young age. Seb's eyes on the other hand are bright blue; the kind you could get lost in for hours, and it's here where he just about trumps the Kosovan.

The other main contender is the messianic victim of racial abuse Marcos Angeleri. Unfortunately he was a man that was so aware of his own beauty that he choose to stand on the Stadium of Light pitch, posing like a perfectly sculpted statue, allowing League 1 wingers to stride part him with ease. He never actually 'played' for Sunderland, so is therefore disqualified.

That is why I believe Seb Larsson is the most handsome man who has turned out for the club. Some of you may ask what this has to do with anything? Is he just doing because he knows Julio Arca is the greater footballer and so his argument has to rest on something else? Did he run out of things to say about Seb Larsson's footballing ability during the first round, and been left with no choice but to resort to this irrelevant, homoerotic discussion? This is nonsense. All I am arguing is that the most handsome man that has ever played for Sunderland is worthy of more than to be knocked out in the second round. (LB)

Julio Arca

Well, I could just allow you to observe Luke's summation of the match up here and leave things there. But I have to say, that in this pre-season filler of a feature, that my original feelings of indifference have changed due to the catastrophe that was Mart Poom defeating Dean Whitehead this week. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? It appears that I'm gonna have to offer a case in favour of Julio after all. I'm gonna make it brief though.

Seb Larsson is a good looking fellow, as Luke rather forcefully and uncomfortably reassures us all. He also scored some free kicks in the first few months of his arrival. That's it really. Unless taking four touches to move the ball on and shouting at the referee every five minutes each qualify as being positive contributions. Well, Mart Poom did qualify cos he scored a goal I suppose. I'm not letting it go.

I'm gonna hold back on some of the pros of Julio's time here, his goals, creativity, flair and admiration for the fans. That can come in the next round. If I can trust you to do the right thing for once. Pfft.

Juliiooooooooo. (SG)


Be sure to make your vote count and send one of these two through to the next round. Make your voice heard below, because you only have until 11pm (GMT) tonight to get your vote in...

Sign up for the newsletter Sign up for the Roker Report Daily Roundup newsletter!

A daily roundup of Sunderland news from Roker Report