Hello boys and girls. It's nice to see you all. I've been missing from here for a while, but while you lot spent all of your weekend enjoying a well-deserved rest and no doubt a beer or two, I've been slaving away at work. Bank holidays off in my job? Hell no.
The bad news is that French TV was showing the Spurs game, so I could record that for later viewing. The good news is, for me at least, I was stuck in the office for the Everton game and didn't have to suffer through it.
Anyhow, you know what happened. You know how the games went. You don't need me for that.
Instead, I'll get on with what you're here for. Bit of poetry, eh?
Welcome back to Roker Rhymes,
In what have been quite interesting times.
A battle at home to Redknapp and co,
And a spanking at Everton, how we hate them so.
It would make more sense to take them one at a time,
A boring draw and an away day crime.
Let's have a recap of what we've seen,
And think about what could have been.
Tottenham at home as a strange old game,
A dull old encounter that was more than lame.
Neither team ever looked like scoring,
And the full ninety minutes were genuinely boring.
Few things happened at any point throughout,
Anything other than a point was never in doubt.
The main chance we had was a penalty shout,
The ball bounced up and Parker's hand it did clout.
There was almost one more sting in the tale,
As marching through went Gareth Bale.
But thankfully we could sit back and cackle,
As Craig Gardner wiped him out with a corking tackle.
And that was that really for the Spurs game,
We got a point, and probably deserved the same.
It's nice to leave such games and think we should have won,
But it's over now, it's finished, it's done.
As I said, I didn't see the Everton game,
So I can't really say, who was to blame.
But it's hard to be surprised with defeat at Goodison Park,
Our record there's bleak, our performances stark.
Another piss poor showing against Liverpool's blue,
They beat us in the league, spank us in the cup too.
And they did it this time with no Cahill of Tim,
It's bad when they can beat us, even without him.
But onwards we go, as we all keep looking up,
As the season draws to an end, let's not f*ck things up.
Let's keep on pushing hard, and playing to our best,
As the players in our squad, face a few more final tests.
Time for me to go now, I'll see you again next week,
After our encounter with Wolves, whose form is looking bleak.
I hope it's all a bit happier then, and we've three points to shout about,
As we're still doing well this season, of that there is no doubt!