Roker Rhymes: The Pre-Match Warcry

Well boys and girls, it's that time again. The time of the week when our stomachs are in knots, we all feel a little bit sick and yet we can't wait for 12noon (or 1pm if you're in Spain, like I'll be).

So, with the match only a few hours from beginning, I thought I'd offer up my own interpretation of Delia Smith's infamous "let's be 'avin you", and hopefully get you even more in the mood for the game that you already are (although that seems unlikely at this stage).

So, without further ado, welcome to a derby day special of Roker Rhymes.

Well it's here again, that dreaded day,
and it's Newcastle United, that Sunderland play.
We're all still haunted, by losing five-one,
But Martin's here now, and it's time to move on.

Yes we all know it was, a Halloween horror show,
And yes, in the long run, it was a bit of a blow.
As was the defeat this year, under big ol' Steve Bruce,
So let's turn the tables, there's no offer of a truce.

We've got skill through the team, in abundance with Sess,
He's more than capable, of leaving Williamson in a mess.
Then McClean, Seb Larsson, Gardner and more,
They did it to us... Let's beat them by four.

In fact no forget it, let's beat them by ten,
And they'll have no response, as they do now when...
We remember the 9-1, all those many moons ago,
'Pre war doesn't count', okay mate sod off, on you go.

And don't forget Fraizer Cambell, new boy he just had,
And his first England cap, we're so proud of the lad.
Good things come in threes, wise men they do say,
So I can't wait for his hat-trick, on this derby day.

Catts is going to bloody love it, when he takes to the field,
In a fully blown war, from which he won't yield.
Tiote and the Frenchman, will be sure they've been in a game,
As every match they've played before, will suddenly seem tame.

So let's do it for the manager, Mr Martin O'Neill,
If anyone can do it he can, is the way that I feel.
And let's knock the Mags, out of that Champions League race,
And wipe the smug grin, straight off Alan Pardew's face.

I'm jealous of you lot, who are off to the game,
I'm watching in Barcelona, but it's just not the same.
The passion, the hatred, the anger, the spite,
But please all be good boys, and don't get in a fight.

"Come on let's be 'avin ya", as Delia once said,
Create an unreal atmosphere, for those in white and red.
And if you're going to the game, don't forget your carrier bags,
At the Sports Direct Arena, and oh yeah, F*CK THE MAGS!