Howdy partners. For those sat aghast at their monitors right now, that was my attempt to try and come up with an even camper way to start a Roker Report feature than the 'oh hello there' used by David Boyle on last week's From The Durham Times. How did I do? I think it was definitely camper, but with my immeasurably more masculine demeanour I just didn't pull it off like he did.
I digress. Wait, can you digress when you haven't actually committed yourself to your main topic yet? Or have I now managed an unlikely double-digression? Ah stuff it. Week that was, etc etc etc. Lets start with the Manchester City build-up.
- Preview: The usual malaise of team news, classic encounters, predictions and bad music as we look ahead to the clash at the Etihad. This week does have the added bonus of us providing you with some actual professional help in the betting markets, though - CLICK HERE
- Fan Focus: The mighty Manchester City can't be scared of little ole' Sunderland, could they? Well of course not, silly. We can tell you what they do think about the game, though - CLICK HERE
- Cult Heroes: Karl Jones delved into the record books to profile a player who represented both clubs. You know the drill by now. We present to you, Stephen 'Sleeves' Elliott - CLICK HERE
- Podcast: That's right, the podcast was back this week after the technical woes of last. David Boyle made his long-anticipated hosting debut, and I was around to make sure he received all the encouragement possible short of a man-hug - CLICK HERE
All that is just the tip of the ice-berg, however. Lets have a look at what else made the hallowed pages of Roker Report this week!
We started the week in EXACTLY the way we like to round these here parts - with Chris Weatherspoon battling through a hangover to talk you through the finer details of a weekend Sunderland win in Talking Tactics.
Simon Walsh then got all statto on us, we presume complete with dressing gown, slippers, and a worryingly homo-erotic cohabitation with Frank Skinner and David Baddiel, and gave you a run-down of Sunderland's top attacking contributors this season. Essential reading.
Then, alas, 'that Everton thing' happened and stank up the whole week. For those brave enough, or the purely masochistic amongst you...
Spare a thought for Karl Jones, too. He was strapped to a chair in the Roker Report bunker, matchsticks prising his eyes open, and forced to relive the whole thing just so he could tell you exactly what went wrong.
And finally, what Roker Report week is complete without some rhyming reflections from the brilliant sun-ravaged brain of Dan Williams?
That, largely, was that. A week when FA Cup dreams, nightmares, and actual football did most of the talking so we didn't have to. But remember to stay tuned for such veritable treats as a match report from the Etihad, our weekly Durham Times column, and daily Roker Round-ups of news.
See you next time.