Hello one and all. Welcome along to the lowlight of our week on Roker Report, my attempt at throwing a few words together that sound the same, discussing what went on at the weekend, and what we've got to look forward to.
It's made increasingly fun this week by the fact that we're playing the Arse twice in two weeks, meaning that every clever pun I come up with here is useless next week... In the interests of not being a lazy **** anyway.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again... Without further ado, welcome along to Roker Rhymes.
It was already written, wasn't it? Before the game even started,
And we saw it confirmed, when Arshavin's markers parted.
The ball floated across the area, and his final English match,
Henry was there to poke the ball home, and all three points did Thierry snatch.
Saturday was always going to be tough, after our efforts on Wednesday night,
But you can't fault the attempts of the players, and the way that they put up a fight.
And when McClean hammered the ball past the Polish, it looked like it might be our day,
But the Frenchman had other ideas, and he made that little bit of slack marking pay.
You could argue with team selection, after such a test against the Boro,
But we all know that starting eleven, would run through walls for one another.
Things weren't perfect during the game, it wasn't really our best showing,
But, hey, let's look at the positives, at least it wasn't f*cking snowing.
Now a message to some of the fans, who over-reacted to the defeat,
We've only lost to Chelsea, Arsenal and Spurs, while marching to Marty's beat.
Just think of how far we've come, in such a short space of time,
And anyone who even questions our regime, is committing an almighty crime.
For the record, I think next week will be different, and we'll win our game in the cup,
With a tricky game against Milan in midweek, Arsenal can certainly mess this one up.
Not that we'll even need them to, as we're more than good enough on our own,
We're fitter, stronger and smarter than ever before, in every possible way we've grown.
So that's why I'm plumping for cup glory, and a passage into the next round,
Cup fever will take over the club again, and our long-lost cup fever will be found.
So get behind the lads now won't you, and we can smash our way past the Guns,
It's a shame that by this point next week, I'll have run out of Arsenal-based puns!