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Man On The Street: It Feels Like Boxing Day At SAFC

Man On The Street Header
Man On The Street Header

And so, the dust settles on transfer deadline day.

Thank the f*****g Lord. If I had to listen to that puce-faced Scottish prat w**k himself into a coma over absolutely f**k all for another minute I'd have probably gone and topped myself.

 

I mean seriously, who the hell is Jim bloody White? What's he ever done? Shouted at us, that's what. And now we've gotta see his horrible mug in HD. Jesus wept.

 

Anyway, it's over, and up here at Sunderland, everything has that kind of 'Boxing Day' feel to it.

What do I mean by that? Well, at the time, just like the presents we all get on Christmas Day, everything seems grand. Each new arrival/present is met with joy and anticipation, as we expect many months (even years) of enjoyment out of our new acquisitions.

 

But then, as Boxing Day rolls around, the haze of excitement clears, and we realise what we're left with is pretty s**t.

 

And so it is on Wearside. Everyone got all excited as Doubtfire went BA Baracus and signed everyone under the Sun, with us all anticipating some sort of wonder squad in the works.

 

But now, with three league games gone and no victory (not to mention a cracking result down at Brighton, nice one lads), it's become abundantly clear that this lot are gonna go down with the proverbial Christmas lights.

 

I mean, honestly, how did it get to the stage where we were salivating about some Danish beanpole joining us on loan at the last minute? Just like that last Christmas pressy, when you're knackered and bored of trying to find somewhere to stick the wrapping paper, Bent-nerd was massively underwhelming.

 

So aye, a thoroughly pathetic transfer window from Doubtfire, Irishman and the Texan. I was skeptical from the off, and I feel I've been proven right.

 

For f***'s sake man, we couldn't hit a barn door if we were standing on the bloody knob. We've scored one in four games, and none of them have gone to our superstar striker, Mr Gyan. He looks overweight and plainly uninterested; I would have snapped that Turkish side's hand off yesterday. Simply, Gyan must gan.

 

In addition, does Potato Heed not like the idea of having a left-back in the squad or something? Since he got rid of Danny Collins (player of the season, and yep, Doubtfire promptly sold him!), we haven't had a true left-back in our team. That was two years ago! In any other profession, the stupid fat Geordie would have been sacked for gross negligence.

 

I should probably have a look back at the Swansea game. A point's a point, but haway man, Swansea? They're even worse than us at scoring goals, and still we looked lucky to come away with anything at all.

 

Fortunately, we've no s**t result to look forward to this weekend. Well, England are playing, but who gives a f**k about that overpriced bunch of mercenaries? Postman Pat Capello should take his £6m salary and shove it up his a**e as far as I'm concerned; he's almost as hopeless as our daft berk of a manager.

 

Hopefully this international break will do us some good. It can't really get much worse I guess. I just hope Quinn or Short visit one of this week's training sessions, realise how crap Doubtfire is, and hoy him out on his rear-end before we get mauled off Chelsea next weekend.

 

A man can dream, ey?

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