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Fight! Fight! Fight!

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So in some Wednesday afternoon boredom, I put it to our Twitter followers "If you could fight an ex or current Sunderland player, who would it be, why, would you win, and what would be your special move?" and the response was pretty mental.

If the Podcast for this week wasn't already in the can, I'd have read them out, however here's the best of the responses from the lovely followers of @RokerReport.

To catch up on more hijinks and the like, do follow us on Twitter, and you never know, I might do this sort of thing again some time.

WARNING: Contains sweary words that only grown-ups and loutish council estate children should use.

Read on...

Here's the answers, and come get involved with us on Twitter @RokerReport...

- Matty Wilson - Billy Whitehurst, he's a bit of a twat, Rey Mysterios 619. He'd still win.

- Paul Maughan - Jon Stead, because he cost £1.79m too much. I'd easily win - I'd just say boo and he'd curl up into the fetal position and cry. I'd also like to fight Tommy Miller, but I'd never be able to find the useless bastard....

- Paul Weston - El Hadji Diouf. Why? He's an absolutely disgraceful human being with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Would I win? Hell yeah! Special move? Hokuto Hyakeretsu Ken! Japanese for North Star Hundred Crack Fist, see "Fist of the North Star"

- Paul Smiles - Darren Bent and any submission move cos we all know he quits easily.

- Dan Williams - Jeff Whitley, because of that penalty (and being shite), probably not, and some clippers - to ruin his massive pube-head.

- David Boyle - Gareth Hall - the first truly awful footballer I saw and he robbed Kubicki of 100 consecutive games - victory by MK fatality. Also Greg Halford - a lad who truly should have stuck to selling bikes and SATNAV's - useless fucking wanker.

- Rich80 - Sean Thornton for that rap, would finish him by choking him out with a pair of "Beats By Dre"

- Daryl Baker - Chopra, no need to explain that one, kick him straight in the bollox.

- Nick Sandy - Emerson Thome, headbutt... I like a good mix-up and he would provide one.

- Damien Marks - For me it would have to be Chopra for not shooting against the Mags and my special move would be a flying roundhouse to the head.

- JLC Tushingham - I actually fought Niall Quinn and his nipper with one of those long foam sticks in a swimming pool when I was 11, I think I won too...

- Ian Tench - David Corner just for being ginger. Finishing move - Walls of Jericho! Wallop!

- Steven Gething - Tore Andre Flo, I'd wrap his gangly legs round his neck and tap him out.

- Mr P - Darryl Murphy, a modicum of talent but a coward .I'd give him a good headbutt, the big soft shite.

- Graham Halliday - El Hadj Diouf, Don't care if I lost, so long as I landed one on the cheat. I'd ram a ball in his gob to stop him spitting.

- Michael Graham - I'd hit Danny Collins with some sweet chin music & tell him "see, nothing good happens WHEN YOU STAND STILL FOR FUCKING AGES"!
It's worth noting at this point that Roker Report, and the writers of Roker Report, and indeed SB Nation do not encourage violence or any sort of action against current or former employees of Sunderland AFC. This was just for fun. Fun-fighting if you will. Please do not sue.

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