The senses have been assaulted of late with seemingly every furniture retailer on the planet going on TV incessantly to offer us a sofa for which we don't have to start paying for months. That can only lead us to one unavoidable and massively depressing conclusion - Christmas is coming.
Yes, that's right, the end-of-year extravaganza of soul-crushing social formalities, a 17-day compulsory diet of dry turkey and stuffing sandwiches, 'cheery' festive music, and the monotonous predictability of Christmas special episodes of every single TV show that you have never even wanted to know existed is approaching with the irresistible momentum of a fat-club field-trip to McDonalds. Rejoice...
So, since we can't beat it, we thought we'd join it. Instead of getting someone you care little about some generic and tacky sweater from a soulless high street giant, why not get them something from the Roker Report shop? It is essentially the same process, but sans the frustration of battling old people for space at the Metro Centre, and you can help us pay the Roker Report winter heating bill.
You would also get the pleasure of seeing the look of surprise and bemusement on loved-ones faces when they open their gift and struggle to understand how anyone could produce such rubbish, followed by that little hint of disgust in their eye as they consider the reality that you might have thought they would actually like it. At the end of the day, isn't that what Christmas is all about?
We have even had the sheer nerve to add a few new designs for your shopping displeasure. Now you can advertise your guaranteed 'Sess Appeal', seek inspiration in tough moments by being reminded to ask yourself 'What Would Angeleri Do?', and commemorate Steve Bruce's wonderful gift of saying things so stupid that they would even make David Boyle cringe.
You can find our shop HERE, so go on, why not annoy a loved one this year and make them feel just that little bit less special with our tat instead!