Vito Mannone - 4
Offered precious little protection but still probably could have done more on a couple of the goals.
Santiago Vergini - 5
One of the better performers, and good lord that's depressing. Slow to close down at times and pretty bog-standard, but the bar was set so low tonight that was almost a luxury. Probably benefited from having a Spanish speaker next to him.
Carlos Cuellar - 5
A decent enough return, but he was hardly likely to save our season, was he?
Wes Brown - 2
At fault for three of the five, though not fully responsible for either it should be stressed. No shortage of blame to go around.
Phil Bardsley - 3
Superficially, a very likeable player a good competitor. Not sure he was either in this one.
Marcos Alonso - 4
Very slow start but marginally less irritating than others thereafter.
Liam Bridcutt - 4
A bit all at sea in midfield. Yet to find his feet. Still, if we are going with three centre backs, then what actually is his role considering his strength is dropping in when the defenders split?
Lee Cattermole - 6
The least irritating of the lot by far.
Ki Sung-Yeung - 3
Couldn't have looked less interested had this game been a shared holiday photo on Facebook of someone he doesn't know.
Adam Johnson - 5
At least tried to create something, even if his radar was a little off.
Fabio Borini - 4
Tried, I guess. I think he tried. Ah man, who cares?
Craig Gardner - 4
Like it mattered.
Nacho Scocco - 5
Decent effort late on and didn't really offend. Small mercies, etc.
Smallest Irritant: Lee Cattermole
Scored! He scored! Tried! He did that too! At least someone did, I guess.