Keiren Westwood - 6
Pulled off some cracking saves and not at fault really for any of the goals. Felt for him a little.
Ondrej Celustka - 3
Looked half asleep at times but not really the problem.
John O'Shea - 2
Perfectly fine until Swansea exerted the merest pressure on him, then hapless. A modicum of the whole team.
Valentin Roberge - 3
Did nowt really wrong, but offered little real second half resistance either.
Some Lecherous Parasitic Dispassionate Own-Goal-Scoring Cowardly C*ck Wombling C*nt - -82
Lee Cattermole - 7
One of the few players to emerge with real credit. Combative from the off and at least left no one wondering if he cared.
Craig Gardner - 3
Sadly, the penalty he conceded was a typical Gardner play. There would have been no one surprised by it. When he is on his game, he has a contribution to make, but his inclination to be wildly inconsistent without any real warning or cause makes him a tough risk to take.
Seb Larsson - 3
Usual display. Poor with the ball and refuses to take responsibility, but solid enough without it. Sadly, that isn't enough.
Emanuele Giaccherini - 5
Played pretty well whilst he was on. Created a very good chance for the parasite to miss at 0-0. A rare steady-Eddy is a sea of shirkers.
Adam Johnson - 3
Didn't really show up, as per.
Steven Fletcher - 5
Very good first half and battled brilliantly with Chico Flores after the break. Starved of support and service after the break and his team mates retreated to beneath their usual rock to wet their pants.
Fabio Borini - 4
Missed a big chance, but it really didn't matter
Jack Colback - 4
Can feel legitimately gutted to have lost his place to the returning rat. He deserves better.
Jozy Altidore - 4
Should have really been introduced earlier. One of the few players we have with some genuine fight and fire in him.
Man Of The Match: Lee Cattermole
A player who has shown you can fall from favour and actually fight your way back with dignity. In fact, he very much looks like the only one really fighting right now.
We'll have more reaction in the coming days in our Stream HERE, so check it out.