Match Report: Swansea City 4-0 Sunderland - Poyet's Party Pooped Upon

Tom Dulat

Headlines couldn't write themselves any easier than they did this afternoon. Match reports such as this are pretty easy too as for the zillionth week in a row Sunderland did ok for a while, then imploded spectacularly.

Gus Poyet and his players will have to do a great deal of soul searching this week to get rid of the demons they brought out today ahead of next weeks derby with Newcastle, as Poyet's first game in charge couldn't have gone much worse.

We expected a more slow and measured way of doing things under Gus Poyet, and things certainly started that way with next to nothing happening in the opening ten minutes. The only highlight of sorts being He Who Shall Not Be Named picking up a yellow card for a high lunge on Nathan Dyer.

Intermittent between all the sideways passing of both teams Emanuele Giaccherini nearly got himself through while Michu cased some very mild panic at the other end.

The returning Steven Fletcher came by far the closest to opening the scoring after 12-minutes when he connected with a clever corner by Adam Johnson, lashing just wide by a whisker on the half volley.

Sunderland seemed to play a fluid system. Fletcher clearly the target with Giaccherini close by him, with the midfield three transforming to a four when the hosts had the ball. Almost everything from a Sunderland standpoint seemed to be played via Lee Cattermole too, who sat in front of the defence excellently. All of which very consistent with the reports we'd heard about Poyet's side at Brighton.

There was yet another lengthy break in notable action before an overhit cross by He Who Shall Not Be Named found Seb Larsson to cut back across goal, who in turn found the Swansea defence at sixes and sevens although nothing could be made of the panic. Still, to this point though Sunderland had looked a massive improvement on what they have earlier in the season.

Swansea mustered a few more chances. Jonathan De Guzman had Kerien Westwood a fluster when his 30+ yard freekick went narrowly wide of the upright, while Roberge picked up a yellow having been sold short by everyone's favourite money-flaunting, misunderstood fullback.

Sunderland contained Swansea very well, with the home sides' frustrations becoming apparent when Michu had a petulant push on the delicious Seb Larsson, although that may have just been envy at his looks.

The Swede attempted to catch Michel Vorm off guard from a wide freekick as the half ended, which didn't at all fool the Dutchman and Gus Poyet will have no doubt been left thoroughly satisfied by the performance at the halfway point.

Sunderland started positively in the second half. Following a poor corner from Johnson the attack was salvaged and Giaccherini it was who teased a superb ball into the area which unfortunately fell to... who blazed over the bar from less than 7-yards out.

That positive start seemed to spark the home side into life and wake them up a little, particularly Michu, who seemed to take the game by the scruff of the neck.

He charged forward with pace, direct at the Sunderland defence and caught them flat-footed but could only win a corner. From which nothing remotely close to dangerous happened, but Wayne Routledge's cross-come-shot at the finale of the attack could and should have been finished had anyone bothered to gamble.

Michu continued to probe and after latching onto Wilfried Bony's flick he really should have done better than to lash high, wide and handsome as he did.

Bony himself, cutting a figure far from the £12m paid for his services tapped an Angel Rangel cross over the bar from inside the 6-yard box.

The home side were clearly in the ascendency after our positive start to the half, and they were the ones to eventually just take over the game, although we played our part in helping them do so.

First up an own goal. A routine corner into the area which was bundled home by... It just HAD to be that clown didn't it? Back to goal and it bobbles in off his arse.

A moment which was ridiculous was quickly followed up with something more sublime as De Guzman made it 2-0 within a minute. It was a lovely, lovely goal. Picking the ball up with one touch it's out of his feet and with another it's swerved high into the top corner beyond where Westwood can get anywhere near it.

In what was a pretty poor effort to get back into things, Seb Larsson's cross was headed over by Craig Gardner before Poyet felt it right to make changes and bring on Fabio Borini and Jack Colback for Adam Johnson and Emanuele Giaccherini.

Borini should have had a goal back within seconds of his introduction. Cattermole lobbed a superb ball over the top for Borini to latch onto, and with just Vorm to beat he squandered a golden chance by putting it well over.

Westwood did his best to keep our interests in the game with a superb save from De Guzman as he fired a ferocious volley from all of 8-yards at goal, which was palmed away strongly and superbly by Westwood.

Misery completed and the self-destruct button we so often love to press was used again for good measure as Craig Gardner gave away a soft but correct penalty for a tap on the ankles of Leon Britton. Soft because he was going away from goal and causing little to no danger. Correct because there was contact.

Wilfried Bony stepped up and scored to make it 3-0 with little over an hour played, slotting the ball just out of grasp of Westwood.

Sunderland managed to go a good 20-minutes without doing anything completely retarded before Chico Flores made it 4-0. A corner comes in, and since we absolutely hate defending those we just didn't bother and allowed an unmarked Flores to head in via Steven Fletcher who couldn't get out the way.

Sunderland made their final change of the game with Steven Fletcher being taken off in favour of Jozy Altidore. Fletcher had toiled away well in the first half before rapidly fading into being a complete non-factor.

Just a note on Altidore, who headed one tamely wide and another volleyed even further wide during his ten minutes on the pitch. I think he's a very good player, and will come good at some stage. However for the now large American populace reading as a result of his signing, I could not give less fucks about how this is affecting your national team. Please stop telling us and even broaching it as a subject.

Back to the game, the last five minutes were a complete waste of everyone's time as Swansea just passed it about smiling while we couldn't wait a second longer for the referee's whistle to blow.

Gus Poyet will have a hell of a lot of work to do this week, and there really can't be too many excuses for the performance put in, with a second half as shambolic and poor as anything seen under Di Canio.

Granted the first half was more than decent, but everything smacks of "too little too late" right now.

Find more match reaction within our Match Stream, HERE!

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