Well then. Some games open themselves up brilliantly for this little weekly feature, next week's clash, for example, is prime for a few rhyming couplets...
This week doesn't quite jump out at me in the same way. But, I'll do what I can. And will apologise now if any choice words manage to make their way into the usually eloquent copy.
What is it about bloody West Brom, that means we always have to start so bad?
It happened last time we played them, and it's making me really quite sad.
The party with Marty was suspended, it would seem for this Midlands clash,
Let's just hope that with Sunday looming, our bad form will be gone in a flash.
But yes, the Hawthorns, on Saturday, once again we gave them a head start,
As our defence was ripped to pieces early, and we just didn't look the part.
Unfortuantely it never really improved, as the goals continued to flow,
As we saw for the first time under O'Neill, our team not even put on a show.
So what went wrong this time, well who knows? Every team has a result like this,
When everything goes wrong one weekend, and the home fans are justified in taking the p!ss.
Perhaps it was a subconcious thing, as we are gearing up for the game next week,
Perhaps, and more likely, we were just crap on the day, which is why the scoreline looked so bleak.
Just take stock though, and look how far we've come, and let's not unduly panic,
And remember we're a team of eleven men, we're human - we aren't mechanic.
Thankfully our fans seem to have more sense now, as in the past when we've suffered a rout,
Twitter and the various message boards, would be cluttered with posts of "M'ON OUT!".
So let's all look forward to the next game, from our delightful neighbours up the road,
And hope the team put in the performance, that we are all certainly owed.
We've had to put up with crap for a long time now, in the outcome of this bloody game,
Oh how I'd love us to win this one, and can be sure that every mackem feels the same.
I'll leave you for now, that's enough, you'll be getting bored of me talking this poo,
But I'll be back later on in the week, with a Newcastle special for you.
We'll all be excited, won't sleep and feel sick, as the game edges a little bit nearer,
And be sure to check out Roker Report, where we'll make everything just that little bit clearer.