The extremely eagle-eyed among you lovely lot will know that I am currently computerless, meaning that Saturday's visit of Fulham was unavailable to my eyes. In the past, this has been a good thing, as we've generally done well when I'm not watching, but from what I've read, and the highlights (all 15 seconds of them) suggest that this one broke the mould.
So, without further ado, let's jump into another week of Roker Rhyming.
'Our season starts here', said Brucey, before the international break,
Fulham came to the Stadium of Light, and three points were there to take.
But as we know with Sunderland, things are never quite so easy,
And our utter lack of cutting edge, is making me quite queasy.
There's really no denying, that this is one we should win,
Fulham's away form isn't good, but unfortunately it's a twin.
Of our bloody rubbish home record, a now another game's passed us by,
Without us registering victory, and into my beer I did a little cry.
It's not all doom and gloom though, our defence is looking tough,
It's just at the other end of the pitch, where things seem to be quite rough.
If we were still playing now, you'd still wager on a nil-nil draw,
As we know now, we are Sunderland, and rarely ever score.
Young Jack had probably our best chance, as his volley cannoned back off the bar,
But should we really be happy that the midfielder, had our most dangerous moment by far?
Okay, so the keeper made a good stop, keeping out a late effort from Sess,
But without a goal-line clearance at our end, we'd have been in an almighty mess.
The more reguarly we perform like this, the more frustrating games,
Seem to give fire to Bruce's excuses list, and ammunition for Brucey blames.
'Our season has been stuttering, it's because of the international break',
Come on now Steve try harder, that's a reason that none of us can take.
'The pressure's too high round here, the fans build us up too much',
All we ask for is a good performance, are you the man to provide us with such?
'Their keeper had a stormer, it's not us that's firing blanks',
You're pushing your luck now Stevey boy, so do us a favour, just shut up, thanks.
And now to coin a phrase from the big man, our season really does start here,
As we take on lowly Wigan, and pray for something to cheer.
If we can't get three points out of that one, from the ever-struggling Lactics,
Then who'll get the blame this time around, the players, the fans, the tactics?
God I hate being negative on this thing, but there's very little else to do,
My team rarely win a game, and generally play quite poo.
We at Roker Report will be delighted, when there's something to be happy about,
So if in the meantime we aren't f*cking smiling, you've got no reason to moan or to shout.
At the end of the day we're just fans, and report on the rough with the smooth,
And we'll throw down the gauntlet to Brucey, because he's got a hell of a lot to prove.
So yes, we'll be negative when events warrant it, and at times we'll be happy as hell,
All we want to see is the Black Cats, stop being sh*t and finally play well!